Mum is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, humorless wyrm.

Mum created silver three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mum, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Mum, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Mum's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Mum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mum.

3. Do not speak about onions.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Mum in the centre of the settlement.