Hadgofarm is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-powerful bee.

Hadgofarm created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadgofarm, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hadgofarm, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hadgofarm's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Hadgofarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not keep seven turtles in a large pit.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near bats while wearing violet shoes and balancing nine lead spheres on your neck.

5. Never feed figs to birds while wearing skirts.