Pakbarnbesscuss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, able shark.

Pakbarnbesscuss created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakbarnbesscuss, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pakbarnbesscuss, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Pakbarnbesscuss' most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Pakbarnbesscuss' Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured capybaras.

2. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

5. Never think ill of sick otters.