Rowlamcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, compassionate hyena.

Rowlamcuss created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowlamcuss, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rowlamcuss, he will turn you into a hamster.

Rowlamcuss' most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Rowlamcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Rowlamcuss in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not eat peanuts.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.