Nulgatkik is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unthinking alligator.

Nulgatkik created Asia eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulgatkik, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nulgatkik, he will torture you forever.

Nulgatkik's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Nulgatkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed strawberries to eagles while wearing coats.

2. Feed all hungry goats.

3. You must love Nulgatkik.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not take Nulgatkik's name in vain.