Pitdonsan is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unsympathetic duck.

Pitdonsan created the universe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitdonsan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pitdonsan, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Pitdonsan's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Pitdonsan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never hurt hamsters.

5. Gulls are not to be trusted.