Wigmobaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, humorless dryad.

Wigmobaf created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Wigmobaf, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wigmobaf, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Wigmobaf's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Wigmobaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near porpoises while wearing black skirts and balancing five nickel spheres on your head.