Yikbissnarl is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, awesome duck.

Yikbissnarl created light six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yikbissnarl, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yikbissnarl, she will turn you into a mole.

Yikbissnarl's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Yikbissnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick grasshopers.

2. Hide if five dogs approach from the south.

3. Never feed figs to ducks while wearing magenta scarves.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always treat voles with great respect.