Gighogflowzenjiggub is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, two-faced hamster.

Gighogflowzenjiggub created a bottom quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gighogflowzenjiggub, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gighogflowzenjiggub, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gighogflowzenjiggub's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Gighogflowzenjiggub's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gighogflowzenjiggub.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never think about cell theory.