Bamcepfem is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, caring rat.

Bamcepfem created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamcepfem, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bamcepfem, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bamcepfem's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bamcepfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about turnips.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near doves while wearing brown ear rings and balancing seven lead spheres on your head.

5. Always obey Bamcepfem's priests.