Hugkikjan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, intelligent crab.

Hugkikjan created time and space four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hugkikjan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hugkikjan, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Hugkikjan's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Hugkikjan's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

3. Never feed coconuts to squirrels while wearing shoes.

4. Put Hugkikjan first in all things.

5. Never eat oranges.