Pakpanster is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonest hydra.

Pakpanster created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakpanster, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pakpanster, it will turn you into a rat.

Pakpanster's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Pakpanster's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never skip near doves.

3. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Pakpanster in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never think about dark matter.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.