Flanfargomkam is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciful alligator.

Flanfargomkam created parasitic wasps six million years ago.

If you believe in Flanfargomkam, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flanfargomkam, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Flanfargomkam's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Flanfargomkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about turtles.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Worship no other gods but Flanfargomkam.

5. Run away from cyan snails, for they are unholy.