Quaf Quagfon Paskipmip is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, slow eagle.

Quaf Quagfon Paskipmip created everything that exists eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quaf Quagfon Paskipmip, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quaf Quagfon Paskipmip, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quaf Quagfon Paskipmip's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Quaf Quagfon Paskipmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.