Catrensig Yartkinjig is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, thoughtless warg.

Catrensig Yartkinjig created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Catrensig Yartkinjig, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Catrensig Yartkinjig, she will not invite you to parties.

Catrensig Yartkinjig's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Catrensig Yartkinjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near squirrels while wearing red tights and balancing four platinum spheres on your feet.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Catrensig Yartkinjig on top of important buildings.

4. Never feed figs to turtles while wearing brown shirts.

5. Never wear cyan ear rings.