Budtunman is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, tiresome lizard.

Budtunman created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Budtunman, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Budtunman, she will refuse to believe in you.

Budtunman's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Budtunman's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chlorophyll.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not keep five eagles in a large pit.

4. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

5. Never think about dark energy.