Bidarnvonk Hunbarnwon is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, charitable cat.

Bidarnvonk Hunbarnwon created humankind five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bidarnvonk Hunbarnwon, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bidarnvonk Hunbarnwon, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bidarnvonk Hunbarnwon's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bidarnvonk Hunbarnwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near bats while wearing pink stockings and balancing four lead spheres on your neck.

2. Worship no other gods but Bidarnvonk Hunbarnwon.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Always stare at clouds.