Flag is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, humane narwhal.

Flag created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Flag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flag, she will strike you with lightening.

Flag's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Flag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not hurt seals.

5. Fast once a month.