Lapstiktabbed is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, capable fox.

Lapstiktabbed created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapstiktabbed, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lapstiktabbed, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Lapstiktabbed's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Lapstiktabbed's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins in need.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never wear pink jumpers.

5. Do not speak about peas.