Jopwanbusved is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, caring wasp.

Jopwanbusved created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopwanbusved, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jopwanbusved, he will turn you into a duck.

Jopwanbusved's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Jopwanbusved's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear rings.

2. Run away from indigo whales, for they are unholy.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Feed all hungry tapirs.