Likmonpon is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, competent cobra.

Likmonpon created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Likmonpon, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Likmonpon, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Likmonpon's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Likmonpon's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dogs.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

3. You must pray to Likmonpon eight times a day.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Likmonpon.

5. Never talk about doves.