Cutflagran is a god.

It takes the form of a small, compassionate gnu.

Cutflagran created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cutflagran, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cutflagran, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Cutflagran's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Cutflagran's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Cutflagran on top of important buildings.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not cook food in pots.