Podzogpid is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awe-inspiring monkey.

Podzogpid created gold seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Podzogpid, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Podzogpid, it will turn you into a sheep.

Podzogpid's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Podzogpid's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight shrews approach from the south.

2. Always help manatees.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

4. Worship no other gods but Podzogpid.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near sharks while wearing gray kilts and balancing five lead spheres on your face.