Wipteenarm is a god.

It takes the form of a large, pitiless turtle.

Wipteenarm created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Wipteenarm, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Wipteenarm, it will not invite you to parties.

Wipteenarm's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Wipteenarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention swans.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.