Flaghotsit Gunparkdisstantandoss Barnveendun is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, strong weasel.

Flaghotsit Gunparkdisstantandoss Barnveendun created the planet Earth four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flaghotsit Gunparkdisstantandoss Barnveendun, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flaghotsit Gunparkdisstantandoss Barnveendun, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flaghotsit Gunparkdisstantandoss Barnveendun's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Flaghotsit Gunparkdisstantandoss Barnveendun's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

2. Never wear fawn kilts.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never talk about eukaryotes.

5. Fast once a month.