Linjarnkimfat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, tranquil snake.

Linjarnkimfat created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Linjarnkimfat, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Linjarnkimfat, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Linjarnkimfat's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Linjarnkimfat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

2. Linjarnkimfat loves mites, so they must be respected.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Do not eat figs.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.