Yatmegwon Campomgad is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, loving wombat.

Yatmegwon Campomgad created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatmegwon Campomgad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yatmegwon Campomgad, he will turn you into a duck.

Yatmegwon Campomgad's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Yatmegwon Campomgad's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Feed all hungry geese.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.