Wigtikyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, self-assured mink.

Wigtikyarl created carbon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigtikyarl, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wigtikyarl, he will try to impress you with trees.

Wigtikyarl's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Wigtikyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not kill monkeys.