Nuthuntarg is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonest lobster.

Nuthuntarg created water two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuthuntarg, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nuthuntarg, it will turn you into a mole.

Nuthuntarg's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Nuthuntarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight turtles in a large pit.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not speak about tomatoes.

4. Feed all hungry pigs.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.