Betlabhud is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unsympathetic goat.

Betlabhud created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betlabhud, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Betlabhud, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Betlabhud's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Betlabhud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always obey Betlabhud's priests.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near turtles while wearing orange stockings.