Bopnegtik Flantunzimzak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unjust rat.

Bopnegtik Flantunzimzak created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopnegtik Flantunzimzak, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bopnegtik Flantunzimzak, she will manifest in front of you.

Bopnegtik Flantunzimzak's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Bopnegtik Flantunzimzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention porpoises.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Do not kill aardvarks.