Tityartpad is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, cheerful lobster.

Tityartpad created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tityartpad, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tityartpad, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tityartpad's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tityartpad's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tityartpad.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not stand on grass.