Fossjarnyog is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, cheerful mole.

Fossjarnyog created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fossjarnyog, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fossjarnyog, she will torture you forever.

Fossjarnyog's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fossjarnyog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about carrots.

2. Never hurt pigs.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Never talk about tapirs.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.