Appwandod Quaffaryarp is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, conceited hedgehog.

Appwandod Quaffaryarp created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Appwandod Quaffaryarp, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Appwandod Quaffaryarp, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Appwandod Quaffaryarp's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Appwandod Quaffaryarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Hide if nine voles approach from the north.

3. Erect seven gold sculptures of Appwandod Quaffaryarp on top of important buildings.

4. Never hurt whales.

5. Do not kill sheep.