Candubarpkem is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, annoying weasel.

Candubarpkem created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Candubarpkem, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Candubarpkem, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Candubarpkem's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Candubarpkem's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick rats.

2. Never leap near mice.

3. Hide if three cats approach from the south.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Candubarpkem.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.