Budyarkim is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, intelligent skunk.

Budyarkim created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Budyarkim, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Budyarkim, he will destroy your favourite star.

Budyarkim's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Budyarkim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about quantum gravity.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Run away from mauve snails, for they are unholy.