Timsinfag is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, calm faun.

Timsinfag created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Timsinfag, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Timsinfag, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Timsinfag's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Timsinfag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not listen to music.