Rillwanpak is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, duplicitous finch.

Rillwanpak created a quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rillwanpak, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rillwanpak, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Rillwanpak's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Rillwanpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Retreat if three turtles approach from the east.