Panjennutt is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, kind finch.

Panjennutt created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Panjennutt, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Panjennutt, it will turn you into a goat.

Panjennutt's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Panjennutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never think about optics near manatees while wearing mauve boots and balancing eight silicon spheres on your head.

5. Always help bats in need.