Nuttjamtaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, kind clam.

Nuttjamtaf created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttjamtaf, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nuttjamtaf, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Nuttjamtaf's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Nuttjamtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think ill of sick snails.

3. Never talk about squirrels.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not keep six sheep in a large pit.