Xuckhangil is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, overgenerous raccoon.

Xuckhangil created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Xuckhangil, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xuckhangil, it will turn you into a frog.

Xuckhangil's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Xuckhangil's Holy Commandments

1. Always help geese.

2. Never paint your chest blue.

3. Never think about dark energy.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never feed garlic to snakes while wearing shirts.