Nutlegvab is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, omnipotent cow.

Nutlegvab created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutlegvab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nutlegvab, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nutlegvab's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Nutlegvab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. You must never eat pineapples.

5. Always take life seriously.