Kabflapfig is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced rat.

Kabflapfig created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabflapfig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kabflapfig, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Kabflapfig's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Kabflapfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails in need.

2. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not speak about apples.