Lakcibbad is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, temperamental swan.

Lakcibbad created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakcibbad, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lakcibbad, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lakcibbad's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Lakcibbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never think ill of sick cats.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always pray immersed in water.