Nuttnurlcep is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, temperamental dog.

Nuttnurlcep created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttnurlcep, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nuttnurlcep, he will throw large rocks at you.

Nuttnurlcep's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Nuttnurlcep's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nuttnurlcep.

2. Never feed lots of tomatoes to great tits while wearing mauve corsets.

3. Never mention geese.

4. Do not eat rice.

5. Never talk about moons.