Gambonnuttyatt is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, pitiless narwhal.

Gambonnuttyatt created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Gambonnuttyatt, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gambonnuttyatt, it will turn you into a rock.

Gambonnuttyatt's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Gambonnuttyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat corn.

2. Do not wear brown clothing.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.