Gofziglam is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, boastful cat.

Gofziglam created an up quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofziglam, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gofziglam, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Gofziglam's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gofziglam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

3. Erect three lead sculptures of Gofziglam on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about grasshopers.

5. Always help voles.