Gebcinvan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, benevolent crab.

Gebcinvan created the Sol system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gebcinvan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gebcinvan, she will curse you with boils.

Gebcinvan's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Gebcinvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chlorophyll.

2. Do not take Gebcinvan's name in vain.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

4. Never eat gooseberries.

5. Gebcinvan loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.