Wappomvon Davmumbestvad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, witty slug.

Wappomvon Davmumbestvad created the cosmos eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wappomvon Davmumbestvad, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wappomvon Davmumbestvad, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Wappomvon Davmumbestvad's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Wappomvon Davmumbestvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Never think about nucleic acids.

3. Hide if six voles approach from the east.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Never skip near seals.