Bessvencar is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, quiet badger.

Bessvencar created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessvencar, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bessvencar, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bessvencar's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Bessvencar's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never feed strawberries to otters while wearing red hats.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Erect six lead sculptures of Bessvencar on top of important buildings.

5. Never look in ponds.